The month of
October has been traditionally designated as Pastor Appreciation Month. This is
a time when churches somehow thank their pastor for his service. It is a nice
idea, and I appreciate the words of encouragement that come from my
congregation. But I would gladly trade it for a Pastor’s Wife Appreciation
Month.
I’ve heard
that John D. Rockefeller once said that without his wife he would have been a
poor man. The honest pastor will have similar words about his wife. Without
her he would be a “poor man” in a pastoral sense or may not be a pastor at
all.
Here are a
few things that I realize about my wife, that without her I would be a “poor man”
when it comes to ministry.
1. My wife helped me get through
schooling so I could serve the church. She agreed to the Ph.T. program (putting husband
through). In college she worked full-time so I could go to class full-time. In
seminary she took care of our three children while I worked two jobs and
chipped away at my M.Div. These degrees were for the purpose of serving the
church in the future and my wife did all she could to help me get through. This
does not even count in all of the financial sacrifice we had to make during
those days, which she never complained about. Pastors and churches should appreciate the
sacrifice that many wives made in the days of preparation.
2. My wife helped me take my first
call. My first
full-time pastorate call was over 1,000 miles from our family and in a small
town that can have some harsh winters. My wife has always demonstrated the “go
wherever” mentality when it comes to ministry. Without her support, I would
never have made it to northwest Iowa to serve my first church. Pastors and
churches should appreciate the sacrifice that many wives made to be serving in
a certain locality.
3. My wife helps me to love the church.
A wife will either be
a help or hindrance in ministry. My wife is a great help. She has a positive outlook
on the church even on the worse days. She eagerly serves where God has gifted
her. She avoids bitterness when things are sour and does not repay evil for
evil. These are all essential character traits. She demonstrates a love and
commitment to our church.
The ministry
is one of the few vocations where having a supportive wife is essential. If a
plumber or investor has a wife who is not too crazy about his job, he can still
get by and earn a living. This is not true in the pastorate. An unsupportive
wife will kill the husband’s ministry and possibly the church.
The takeaway
from this is for both pastors and churches. As pastors, we need to be sure our
wives know how much we appreciate their sacrifice and love for the church. They
need to know how essential their positive role is in our lives and how we
deeply appreciate it.
Churches also
need to realize how much of a sacrifice that the pastor’s wife makes. The wife has
often agreed to go wherever her husband has been called to. The wife often has
agreed with her husband to voluntarily take a low-paying job in the non-profit world for the
rest of their lives to serve Christ. The wife stands by her husband during
times of deep discouragement and often helps support his faith so he can
persevere. The truth is, without the support of the wife, many churches would
not have their pastor today.
So as I said
earlier, I would gladly trade this month for a Pastor’s Wife Appreciation
Month.